As good as it gets

Have ignored my dear diary for more than 2 weeks now. It's not the lack of motivation to narrate some events in my life, rather the time to do so.

Have been working full days the past 2 weeks and just yesterday, started training a new colleague. The continuous flow of calls from friends to meet-up for coffee, swimming or movies are becoming strenuous so I have decided to just simply go home and enjoy the feeling of seeing the kids and just being there.

The past week was a visitor infested week. It was nice while it lasted but after they've all gone home,--tiredness got the best of me when mind and body realized that routine is back.

A Summary of my to do's:

- Prepare Alyanna's stuff for a week's school trip to Malaysia
- Look for a part-time helper for two weeks (March to April)
- Call Maid Agency regarding our helper's work permit
- Follow-up on booking to Boracay; additional room might be needed
- Check possible flights as well for A
- Make appointment with Vet
- Confirm Pet Hotel for Jake's boarding
- Start timing the Summer vacation of the kids
- Arrival of FIL end of March
- Possible trip to Angkor Wat
- Extend work leave or simply reduce stress--QUIT

On the Cover

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Feng Shui for the PIG in me

Alright, I'm not saying I believe in horoscopes, forecasts or whatever you want to call it but hey, won't hurt to read and have fun with it either. And to those who can't "understand" English, I have included the Chinese characters to ease your pain haha

事业变化多端的一年. A year with lots of changes in the career. - job, i have. career? what's that?

注意身体健康, 病从浅中医.
Beware of your health, cure it when it is not serious.
- as long as the cells behave themselves

要有诚心的对待事情, 不可过于吝啬.
Must be sincere in solving problems, cannot be too stingy.
- Er, which do I solve first?

投资须谨慎, 以免破财.
May have lost of wealth when not invested properly.
- First I have to find THE wealth to invest properly, ey?

小心意外事故, 要对家庭负责.
Be responsible to your family member, don't take risk.
- When was I not?! let me count the ways

(this forecast is from an email I've received)

Good Job Nanu!

Almost a year of listening to screaming children when fillings are done, I wasn't sure how my little one would fare. This is a second visit following his regular check and at 4 years old, he needed two done!

I couldn't believe it when our dentist told me that he had small holes on his teeth. A bit frustrating knowing I was strict when it came to their sweets intake and how thoroughly I brushed his teeth.

Anyway, to prepare him for the big day, I agreed with him on two different ways to show us if it's bearable or unbearable pain. They had to numb his gums a bit using a syringe, so that agreement was necessary.

As he entered the room, he confidently greeted the dentist and sat on the chair. He then gave me uneasy glances so I held his hand and said the usual mommy line ---"every thing's going to be just fine."

The dentist was really nice and easy with him. The casual and continuous talk keeps both the patient (AND) mother at ease. Yeah, I was hiding my nervousness so my son won't chicken out.---half an hour later, he was done. We were all proud of how brave and calm he acted despite his surely pounding little heart. He admitted he was scared but he knows that not covering the holes of his teeth will be more painful.

Carpe Diem II

19th January, Saturday:---The day started with Keanu's cuddling demands. (him = squeezing himself in the midst of giants ha ha) He was up early and couldn't wait to start the day. I begged him for some more sleep but in vain. He was ready to go and hit the pool! Of course, nothing is to be done lest after a big hearty breakfast. And just as every resort will have---buffet!

The children had a blast munching this and thats, overfed the fishes and explored the grounds. A had earlier told them that they should leave us in peace for breakfast even for awhile because mommies and daddies need some break too. I sooo agree!

Before noon, we dropped the kids at the kids club for their T-shirt making hour. I and A went on an ATV (all terrain vehicle) tour of the "jungle" as they would call it there, more on coconut plantation for me.---After a 5-minute briefing, we were given our pulis pangkalawakan (space police) gears and we were ready to go! Birma, our guide, had me circling the track twice just to make sure I'm up for the hour and a half drive in MY dress! Yes, I was wearing one thinking that we'll JUST have breakfast.

In the beginning, I was too cautious driving, following our guide, Birma and ducking from hitting branches and overgrown bushes. But when I got the hang of it, twas like riding a bike and I started to enjoy the little adventure.

As we went further, Birma kept on letting us pass the harder trail. He seemed to enjoy my screeching every time I drove over mud, puddles and thin bridges. A was behind me speeding up every now and then daring me to drive faster which I refused to do in unknown grounds.

Finally, we exited the plantation and was welcomed by an empty beach. Birma, waved to A and I, with a smile that says, "it's all yours!" A looked at me and grinned, and off he went. I felt braver and took on the challenge and followed him. It was goooood! We were like little kids driving in circles for awhile. We stopped for some chat with Birma and a little walk then off we went to a little hut for some coco juice before we headed back to the resort to get the kids.

The next day, we all just took the time to relax more and lazed by the pool.

It was a wonderful time in Bintan, Indonesia. A good pause. Sometimes, you just don't want to go back to the real world where reality bites. The End.

Carpe Diem

"A bubbled thought. An impromptu invitation. An unexplainable response for very SPECIAL reasons. ---Tomorrow is not today."

Bintan, Indonesia, an island just an hour's ferry ride from Singapore is where locals and expatriates alike go and escape from the city. Resorts like Banyan, Angsana and ClubMed are just a few of the places you can enjoy relaxing in. This is my (our) second trip here. For the children, the first.

18th January, Friday:---Though the boat ride was just an hour, it turned out to be an unpleasant experience for Keanu. The winds and strong currents rocked our boat more than expected and seasickness finally took its toll. A couple of more minutes, I and the little one were locked-up in the washroom---for almost the whole span of the trip. I couldn't see what's going on and I couldn't care less then, but judging from the sounds they're making and the pounding on the door of our WC he he---IT was bad.

I pitied Keanu. He was pale and crying for dear Mom to help him. How frustrating it is to not be able to stop that lousy feeling. The best I could do was hold him and tell him everything's going to be fine.

Alyanna was with A, both wondering if we had plans of reserving the lavatory next time. A told me that 30 per cent of the passengers were using bags which the crew distributed in the middle of the journey. As for Alyanna?---Mentos did a good job.

In Bintan, the Philippine passport is an advantage. No visa required or USD10 tax to pay. But the 3 Germans with me would have to queue for it. No can do. My children were much too tired and another 45 minutes won't do all of us well. So I asked an officer for "assistance" which umm, was USD20 more expensive. But nonetheless...better than having grumpy and tired kids.

Dinner was at the Pantai Grill restaurant by the beach where the evening's menu was authentic Indonesian cuisine. We opted for the buffet and the children had a feast---relaxing ambiance! The day came to its end and it was time to retire.

to be continued...

A Beautiful Day

The new year has begun and the Xmas presents have been given but Alyanna's biggest wish is yet to be fulfilled---"A day at Rider's Lodge, Malaysia with her favorite horses, Springer and Princess Aurora.

Since our first visit there on August 2007, no month has passed that she never mentioned going back there. It's a good 1.5 hours drive from Singapore and getting there isn't difficult at all. You can hire a 6-seater van to pick you up from home for S$200 (round trip) or you can take the Express train.

I opted to hire a van like last time. My friend Simone and her daughter joined us so we shared the transportation and day room costs which turned out very reasonable. We were picked-up at 9am and by 9:40, we were already at the border of Malaysia. Immigration checks were done and after another hour of smooth driving, we were at the lodge. The kids were ecstatic as they saw the stables! We were then warmly welcomed by the Filipino staff and even our helper commented, "Ma'am I feel like in a province of the Philippines here"----honestly, I did too.

We all visited the horses and gave gentle touches and cuddling to those who wanted it. I gave extra hugs AND kisses to Impian (the horse I learned with on August) and the beautiful Golden Crown---such gentle characters.

The day went by fast but no minute was wasted. By 5:30pm, we were on our way back to Singapore. The kids were exhausted so it was a quiet trip home. By 7:30pm, all of us were back home safe and looking forward to our next trip to Rider's Lodge.

Alyanna had 2 sessions (an hour each) of horse riding. Keanu had a 30-minute trail ride, Simone and I had an hour each of traditional Malay (OMG!) massage,----plus good food and hospitable service. What more can I ask for for a day?

***The lower photos (except the one with the staff) were from August 2007***

The Dawning of 2008!

Though 2007 seemed to just have slipped away with various life challenges for myself and everyone around me,---it has strengthened me in its oddest way.

What lies ahead is unforeseen. I'm not saying I'm ready for it but I will face it step-by-step and MY WAY.

The skies aren't that blue yet but I've gone this far...

'Tis the season to be...

Though the house was decorated with this season's ornaments and Christmas music played all the time,---something was missing. I hate to admit it but without the cold, crisp (freezing) temperature, the smell of fresh pine, real candles on the tree and SNOW---it's not the same.

Don't get me wrong. This is not a complaint, it's merely a comparison and finding what one prefers.

BUT, instead of focusing on what I don't have, why not focus on what I do.

Presents were opened first in order to free the children from the overwhelming excitement they have been holding within. Of course, before that, I have done my share of white lies about the journey of Santa and his reindeers across the skies to get to this part of the world because people lived in different timezones and Christmas comes here first.----Once again, I was convincing. Perhaps next year, my powers will be gone :-)

Dinner was simple. At least that's how I thought it would be. It was a mix of Korean and Japanese dishes. Luckily, I had extra pairs of hands and after an hour's preparation and cooking time, our efforts were not in vain after all.

The next day, the 25th, we all had our corners for reading. The afternoon was a time to play with the "toys". Alyanna and I got MP3's and figuring out how to use this gadget took awhile for someone like me. Rex and A spent some time building and connecting the PC up. Keanu, on the other hand was busy driving his RC mini cooper and playing with his transformer figures.

'tis the season to be...what YOU want it to be.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Is A Season
When All Things are Full of Bliss,
It's a Time I Feel so Awesome
But You I clearly Miss...

It is Not just This Season
That I Wish You the Best
My Thoughts are With You,
From North to South
And East to West...

Birthday No. 2

Hectic weeks passed and the two December babes have celebrated and enjoyed the closure of one and now beginning of another year. Though no formal children party has happened yet for Alyanna's special day,---it's the Xmas break and most of her friends have gone on vacation---so we just did what we could to make it special.

The traditional breakfast birthday as usual was set but instead of the usual bread and sausages, we had macaroni soup. T'was a birthday request so we had to oblige. We opened the gifts first to free her from the excitement she has been holding for days. We gave her a hi-fi stereo but Rex's gift was THE best---a gameboy cartridge, well what could beat that?

In the evening, she went with A, Rex and Tania to watch a Jazz concert at the Esplanade. (As you all can see, Rex was definitely prepared for it with his jazz hat.) Was her first "big people event" and she was looking forward to it. I and Keanu watched TMNT---go figure haha

Hours later, Rex told me she fell asleep in the middle of the concert! Turned out to be a lullaby than entertainment for her. Well, at least she has an idea now how adults are when they go out dressed in suits and gowns.

The last TEEN-th year

Time flew. A young man he has become.

As I prepared the traditional birthday breakfast at 7:45 in the morning of December 15, It felt odd that I was counting quite a number of candles--- 19!!! If I continue to do this, I'd need a three-layered cake by the time he turns 40 :-)

The celebration(s) this time is a bit longer and more tedious. The evening's dinner was my famous Filipino styled beefsteak paired with buttered long beans. The next day followed with The "S" brothers plan to make the traditional German goose dinner that began 6 years ago when we still resided in Deutschland---so that was an extended feast.

Last but not least is the coming combined celebration of T and Rex, (hmmm T-Rex) to have a party in a chalet and have 30 friends over on the 18th.

I was brave enough to volunteer to "cater" for the wolves so tonight was cooking night. T helped with little this and thats which was fun because of her interest to learn. Spaghetti bolognese, meatballs, fried chicken marinated the way Filipino barbeque would be, and chicken sandwich with 10 packs of toast bread to go. And since this is an overnight event, nutella and peanut butter were back-up spreads.

Will be rushing from work tomorrow. Picking-up the stuff from home and bringing it to the belly of the beasts. Thank goodness he'll have some friends over to help carry the kilos and kilos of food!

to be ONE

You've touched a soul like no one has ever had

You've put a smile on lips that have been sealed,
You've erased memories hoped to be forgotten
You've mended wounds that wanted to be healed.



You've flown great distances in all your travels
You've crossed oceans farther than anyone can see,
Your existence is a gift to anyone who knows you
Your unselfish love has made things possible to be...

It is a friendship, shared and nurtured. It is a bond, forever treasured.

Doctor, doctor

I dread dental visits. I never came out of one without a bad prognosis. Either I need a filling or a root canal done. Who do I blame for my dental dilemma?----I, me and myself.

Can't point my fingers at mom or she wont' hesitate to scold me in my dreams! Mom was extremely organized when it came to our medical and dental healths. We have regular appointments with our family doctor and dentist. Sometimes, the clinics felt like our second home! Toothache, stomach pains, wobbly tooth, gum pains, rashes and sprains.....you name it, mom's been through it.

Now it's my turn. And though my organization skills have somehow deserted me, working in a dental clinic keeps me alert on my kids' check-ups :-)

That's me on the 'sentence chair' by the way getting a crown fit for a----well, aging woman. Less the fear if you have one of the island's friendliest dentist

the looong break is---over?

Exactly 6 months since my last post?!

A long blog sabbatical and still partly in that mode. Perhaps writing bits and pieces will get me back in the game, perhaps not....

Living...

The Great Singapore Sale is at hand and stores have slowly begun putting up their offers. Mango, DKNY, Guess, Gucci, Armani are ON SALE!!! For someone like me who isn't a fanatic of branded stuff,---their offers are tempting.

***closes eyes and drifts away from this topic*** Ommm, Ommm.....

My sister and her family will be arriving tomorrow and will be staying for a week! Luckily, my schedule permits me to spend time with family.

We have planned the whole week. Since it's the first time for my nephew and niece to visit Singapore, everyday must be more than a holiday; and that starts on the evening of their arrival.

A's and my friends are coming over for a Philippine (with a mix of European) cuisine feast so the weekend begins with "consuming beyond limits" ;-)

- Homemade mushroom cream soup and salmon salad are the starters.
- Crispy pata, pinakbet, and my infamous recipe of the Filipino beefsteak are the main courses.
- and last but not least, fruits dipped in CHOCOLATE fondue!

Red/white/dessert wines, beer and gin tonic are the evening's ice breakers...

Food For The Soul

"When you are at the end of your rope, God is there to catch you—but not before." (disclosure: got this quote from a forwarded email. I forgot who quoted this.)

No impossibility is given without a possibility... sometimes we just have to wait. All right then. Patience is a virtue...I'm your student.

What's In A Name (tag from Vanidosa)

When I first got pregnant, almost 2 decades ago (OMG!)...naming my child was the least of my concern. I was too busy remembering mine before my father calls me something else haha...

Before I expose more than I have to, let's get to the point:

REX JORDAN - the history of my son ending up with this name was because my father did not get the approval of my mom and I for the first name he really wanted to give: Yuri Vladimir! That sounds so mean, unfriendly and yeltsin-like. So, NO.

That time, Michael Jordan was in the peak of his fame and my dad adored him. He asked me what I thought about it and I found it a lot nicer than Vladimir.--We continued thinking of first names that would match and then dad snapped his fingers and said, "Rex"?---Mom and I looked at each other and said, finally, a name deserving of the child.

ALYANNA MONIQUE - my daughter's name was given by me. Of course, approved by her dad. I had her name in my mind since my first was born. I said that if I get a girl one day, she will be named"alyanna". A decade after, my wish came true.

Her second name was given by Rex. We couldn't decide between dominique or monique, but the choice of the king was the latter. We all liked the italian-french twist in it.

KEANU SEAN - it didn't take long to think about the little one's name. I guess we weren't that fickle anymore. Plus, knowing that we will have a boy, I gave A the honor. As long as it sounded good and wouldn't be mispronounced too often, I was fine with it.

Had Keanu become a girl, I would've named her: Kiara Estelle. (hm, perhaps the next?) haha

Betting The Bet

Selections only come once in a lifetime, but when they do, it's mind boggling!

Just as I was in the prelude of what I could call "something"--- another pops up and I once again have to chew the cud.

I'm a "jack-lyn of all trades", I believe that everything can be learned as long as you're willing to. That not all things can be taught lest you are IN it.

Weigh girl, weigh. The cards are now open for your bet. All you have to do is choose the right one that will let you play further...

Not for the weak of heart...

Dim the lights, turn up the volume and close your eyes...some of you might be in for a sentimental ride...

Splendid Moments

We usually think that we are in control of our days. Of what will happen and should happen...yes, perhaps partly true. But then there are moments wherein we just lose control and we realize that we are not really on top of all things. We get tired and frustrated, we make mistakes.---we're all not strangers to these realities.

You are just nearing the peak and about to give up, then you are given these words:

"Lord, grant me the light this day in the unseen realm to see how your strength is greater than any foe that threatens to assail me. Open my eyes, Lord! Remind me of your awesome power and unlimited resources, and then let me take courage because you are fighting for me!"

Read between the lines...there is nothing to worry about.

About Work

Almost two weeks have passed since I began work and so far, it has been an enjoyable experience. Hours breeze through without a moment of yawning---rooms are never emptied and the phones don't tire from ringing. Appointments, ledgers, labs, account books and "toothaches"---my day in a dental clinic.

Receptionist, front desk officer, customer relations--title it as you please...one thing's for sure, without management skills, you're better off sitting at home watching HBO accompanied by chips.

I am one who used to look down, no, let's rephrase that,---who thinks these positions are an easy task. Not requiring much ability besides smiling and greeting. Perhaps it is in other businesses but not in the medical/dental areas---here, the demands are high. The responsibilities are tedious. A mistake and lack of information can be fatal. Multitasking is synonymous to the life and success of the clinic's day. Efficiency and quick thinking when unpredictable situations arise are a necessity.

We have 2 branches at the moment and a 3rd one is on the works. Located at the famous shopping places like Suntec City and Orchard Road, public transportation isn't a problem. A cab ride from Suntec would bring me home in less than ten minutes; whereas from Orchard, I prefer taking the reliable subway.

I've been based in both branches to get to know the dentists and their patients. Have learned a few things and terminologies in this field, too. I find it hard to believe that an old dog can still be taught new tricks. I thought maturity makes ones mind rusty ;-)

Between The Lines

If distance they say is a way to get closer,
why do I feel that it makes us farther apart?
If distance they say will make the heart long,
why do I know that it is there that I belong?

Absence speak louder than presence
It is a fact that is felt as days pass---
Longed for are the times of possible encounters
Thankful for the brief moments of togetherness.

To think how far and away you are brings frustration
I am not victorious when it comes to waiting,
Time is of the essence as we live in this world
I have waited long enough and hurdled.

The sun sets and rises with you in my thoughts
following the rhythm of the day as it beats--
Nothing has changed since the first time,
Nothing will change if only you were mine.

It's no revelation

Too many things have been happening so writing daily adventures has taken a back seat. Standing in shaking ground and finding a balance seem an impossible task but in the end, acceptable.

If you were in such shoes, you would understand what is being revealed. Luckily, you're spared.

Singapore has been wet the past days. Before sunrise thunderstorms frequent the city and lazy was the day's word. Sleep. Rest. Relax. Let go....Live life the way it should be.

Another one of life's teaching. Neither age nor maturity can guarantee preparedness to what lies ahead. Trying to cope with a set-up never understood and probably never will is the hardest but as it is required for the good of all---it is done.

These thoughts are of me and for me...many might not understand what I mean but a handful will.

Touring KL

Although seeing a city in two days isn't really the best way, I have managed to see little bits and pieces of KL's touristic places. Either from the comfort of a cab and the detailed descriptions of the drivers or under the heat of the sun, --I took every opportunity that I had.

Seeing the city of KL is like going through a time warp. Modern skyscrapers stand side-by-side to old-fashion shop houses or nouvelle cuisine to hawker stalls. To fanatical shoppers, KL is wonderland. From designer shops and brands to the made-in-Malaysia items, the competition between merchants are a blessing in disguise to consumers.

During my visit, I had two attempts to see the Petronas Towers but twice I failed. The amateur lone tourist in me wasn't wise enough to ask the visiting hours before going. I did, however, get to pass by "The Istana Negara", the King's Palace and take some photos 'outside'. From there, I checked out the Lake Gardens. Made a walk through the park until I reached the Hibiscus garden (a small terraced garden which provides a colorful panorama of countless varieties of this flower)

Touring alone was a new experience but I actually find it quite enjoyable. My pace, my time, my choice of place =)

Odd times

Just as I was trying to re-start my life in the E-world...my laptop crashed.

Just as I was beginning to get used to communicating...I lost contact.

Something was brewing but somehow was stopped...

Fate intervenes in the very moment you think you're beginning.

I will not say no more.

Visiting KL

I am preparing for my trip to KL (Malaysia)---meeting a friend.

That's the advantage of being in Asia---travel is cheaper and I'm less afraid to go around alone. I couldn't picture myself travelling solo when I was living in Germany. Had it not for the fear of missing good company and food, I wouldn't even dare drive to my friends' place which was just 45 minutes away.

But not anymore...

I have a list of to do's and to go to's (if not, even have a glimpse of) To tour by myself would be a new experience but it has to be done.

A usually flies to Malaysia and so we'll be going together. My friend will be staying at the Shangrila, and us, at the Hilton KL

Business and pleasure...literally ;-)

Shadows of a Glimpse

The darkness of the night could not conceal the radiance of the heart,
The years of absence has been broken by the amorous stare
Every word uttered is a journey through time---
A glimpse of the imaginable is shared in the deafening silence.

The yearning clashes the reality of distance and uncertainty
The confidence, the grace, the contentment within,
Knowing what to want yet not to despair when expectations fall short
Living life to its fullest but not questioning its incertitude.

A gentle voice, soothing and affectionate--
Comforting to a passion dismayed and unsettled
The openness and honesty is whole-heartedly offered
Giving assurance that trust is not just a feeling but more than just a word.

Doubting the inevitable truth is more hurtful than a shattered heart
The power of presence is felt through untouchable yet tangible memories...
It is then that you discover what lies within the past
Giving a cold glimpse of what could have been...

A new beginning

17 Christmas Eves ago, I laid in bed cradling you in my arms. You were 10 days old---last year, you were cradling your girlfriend.

I am witness to how you have grown to become a loving and sweet young man. No one would ever believe that you could be one, given the macho image you've always shown and have built so hard. But it takes a sweet girl like 'T' to bend you and for that, I am proud of you. You have learned that loving someone doesn't require commanding but showing it and caring for her is more important. I continue to silently watch the two of you...

She is a very sweet girl. Full of dreams and aspirations. Graceful yet not flirtatious. She knows what she likes to be and works on getting it. I feel good that you complement each other in the simplest of ways. Her family accepts you almost as they would accept their own son. You are now in "the circle of trust"--it has been given openly and I hope you'd take care of it. This is your beginning and I can only wish that it goes a long way.

I thought of Mom

It was February 25, 2007 when my mom finally won over cancer. It was the day she said goodbye...

Despite having a heavy heart, passing smiles helped me get through that day. Everyone walked---if it is to console, to relax or just be---it was to be remembered.

As the children sat on a huge log and the others made a pause to quench their thirst, I looked up and made this photo. It was just a matter of seconds before the feeling of tranquility left me and I was glad to have felt it. It was mom. She lived life to the best and fullest of her ability.

Though Mom's departure was too soon, it did not come untimely. She used the borrowed time given to her to teach, give and show love in a special way. The strength, the will and the faith she had are inspirations to many--most of all to me and my family.

I am who I am because she continued to believe in me no matter what others say.

I will miss Mommy. Our talks, our discussions, our fights...everything that spiced-up our relationship. But one thing stays, I am her daughter and in me, she lives.

I love you Mommy Ganda...you gave justice to that title.